Into Fasting…

Posted on January 23, 2012 by Cynthia

About 2 weeks ago I felt the calling to fast. I felt it so strong that I began it immediately. Upon going to church my Pastor began to talk about the entire church body doing a 21 day fast. That rang so strong with me. I started my fast by giving up just my breakfasts. Then last Saturday I went into a full 24 hour fast, then back to giving up breakfast. Saturday, the 21st I began a full on fast at 1pm. So much has swelled up in me to fast for that I realized that the fasting of my breakfast was just not enough. I entered into this water only fast claiming that I wanted to go deeper into God.

I was blessed with this revelation – “Fasting is the key that opens doors when other keys have failed.” I love this phrase that was said to me. I also realized that a fast without prayer is just a diet, and I have that with this fast I am seeking God a lot. Because I don’t want to miss one moment with God, I don’t want one memo to slip past me.

I started asking myself “what am i hearing from God?”, which is another phrase I got from my Pastor. Because it challenges myself to be sure that I am hearing from God. Then I take whatever I have heard from God and I dig it out in the Bible. I research it until I feel the confirmation that it was from God (or sometimes was not). It’s amazing how much he speaks.
Recently I have been drawn to areas of the Bible I don’t normally go. I was taken to 1 Timothy on Saturday morning, which isn’t my “go to” area. I tend to camp out in Hebrews, Romans and the Gospels. But as I turned to 1 Timothy and began to read 1:1 and through it I have to stop at 1:12 and take my time as I read through to 1:17. The message was so clear that I closed my bible after that and began to pray and praise God.

 

”

1 Timothy 1:12-17

New King James Version (NKJV)
Glory to God for His Grace

12 And I thank Christ Jesus our Lord who has enabled me, because He counted me faithful, putting me into the ministry, 13 although I was formerly a blasphemer, a persecutor, and an insolent man; but I obtained mercy because I did it ignorantly in unbelief. 14 And the grace of our Lord was exceedingly abundant, with faith and love which are in Christ Jesus. 15 This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief. 16 However, for this reason I obtained mercy, that in me first Jesus Christ might show all longsuffering, as a pattern to those who are going to believe on Him for everlasting life. 17 Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, to God who alone is wise,[a]be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen.”

 

As I prayed I felt that my fasting was the perfect thing, that going head first into this amazing fast was what I needed to do. Sadly, I know that there are people out there that continue to think that I “mental” for doing this fast. That I am crazy in how wildly I pursue after God. I encourage everyone to wildly pursue after God, because then He will wildly pursue after you. He will come to you in the way that you press in. If you don’t press into Him wholeheartedly and with everything you are, then won’t receive all that He is. But if you go after Him with all that you are and you dive in and press in and don’t give up He will eagerly pursue you and you pursue Him.

God has called us all to have child-like faith, take a moment and ask yourself “Would a 6 year old methodically pray to God and go to Him like this?” Have child like faith and ask like your Father is going to say “YES‘. Earnestly contend after God, you will never have what you don’t pursue! God wants ALL of His children to be activated in the gifts of the Holy Spirit.

May the Lord bless you and keep you. May the Holy Spirit light and amazing Fire of God in your heart, that you may hunger after Him with a new hunger. May He light the way to Him clearly for you, so that you will know it is God. May he speak to you in a mighty way, that you will know it is the Almighty speaking.

 

God Bless!

Cynthia

Posted in General | Leave a comment

Merry Christmas!

Posted on December 28, 2011 by Cynthia

I know it’s after December, 25th, but it’s never too late for a Merry Christmas. In my own way I celebrate the Birth and coming of Jesus everyday. Lately it’s been harder. I struggle to pull myself out of the earthly things. The bills, debts and heart ache have taken a toll on me. As I fight for a refund on my heart ache and push through to the Joy, I am reminded that God is in me. He is always in me and with me, no matter what I am doing. Even sitting here i am reminded that when I watch something I shouldn’t, my Guardian Angel turns away or covers their eyes to not see what I am watching.

Lately I have been watching a TV series that I probably shouldn’t… Sons of Anarchy. While I sat there and began to find pleasure in the series I realized that the series was really just making me forget about my pain. But then, I was finding pleasure in a show the Lord would not be pleased with. I struggle to keep my life pleasing to the Lord. I know the Spirit of Error wants me to not be productive in the Lord’s ways. I know that they want me immobilized in the ways of the Lord. But I fight against. I know that with every trial there brings new revelation.

So right now, I come into myself and I fight the struggle of turning to this TV Series for comfort and return to God for comfort. I turn away from video games and internet for comfort and I return to HIS word! I turn my head away from the cursing and rudeness of the earth and lift my eyes to the Love and Grace of the Creator, God our Father.

I know that coming out of earthly things will be a struggle. It’s harder when you push against them alone. I know my husband does not fight this battle at my side but will continue to allow them into the house and our lives. For he is not where I am. I pray for perseverance over this. I pray for strength and courage to do the right thing. I pray for intercession on my life by the Lord our God for me to be able to walk away and not turn back. I pray for the easing of the pain, so that I may go forth and boldly do the work of the Lord.

Father, I love you and I love all that you have done for me in my life. I love that you have placed an amazing man in my life, and I pray that from my changes, that he sees what true Joy and Love look like. Let me represent you to Him.

God bless!

Cynthia

Posted in General | Leave a comment

When he speaks to us…

Posted on November 22, 2011 by Cynthia

I am barely awake after going to work and coming home. I got up to go to the restroom and this phrase come into my head “You are my everlasting King, you are my grace, my mercy, my everything” As I am listening to my head plays this through multiple times I am suddenly reminded of poetry I wrote when I was a little girl (like 8 to 13 years old) and there was one that was old strong to me and I didn’t know why. I want to share this poem with you. It’s been sitting in my poetry journal for so long and I have not even looked at these in years.

Truth of Love
I felt it in my blood,
Then in my bones,
It hit the marrow,
Just like stones.

I felt it in my heart,
Heard it in my soul,
Felt it in my mind,
As if to bestow.

Bestow on my a truth,
Even a form of trust,
But like a sharp dagger,
Going in at full thrust.

It hit my heart,
Connected with my mind,
And flowed through my soul,
An eternal bind.

I was struck bad,
Almost lost,
But then found,
At love last cost.

As I was going through reading this poem the Lord was telling me that I was 12 years old writing about my life in full. The search for truth and how it resonates your everything, then the death to your old self (the dagger going in) and being struck down, then being risen in Christ (found at loves last cost, also meaning Loves Final Price). I continue to look back over my life and watch as the Lord shows me when he was speaking to me and how I responded. I stand amazed.

Remember, God can speak to you in dreams, visions, words, songs, signs, numbers, colors… there is NO limitation on how God can speak to you, because he was talk to you in a way that will resonate with you best. Because God isn’t cookie cutter, He’s personal, He’s our Father.

Posted in General | Leave a comment

Visions of Heaven…

Posted on November 18, 2011 by Cynthia

It’s amazing how wonderful God is! He is wonderful BEYOND human comprehension. I realized a few days ago that there was a vision I had that the post never saved to the site and I felt I needed to go back through and make sure this one was on here. I praise the Lord that I am able to remember this so vividly, because without the grace of God allowing me to remember what I have, I would not have it on here at all.

God Bless!

Date :  September 30, 2011

I was laying in bed, thanking God for all He has done in my life. Laying there praising him with my soul and heart. My eyes were closed and I felt as though I was drifting off to sleep, but then again… I wasn’t. Suddenly I realized I was standing in grass, I could feel the wet cool blades of grass on my bare feet and as I looked around I say this amazing field and fog that traveled off into the distance. In the middle of the field was the picnic table I had come to know so well, only it was different. It was… pink?

Then there were 4 girls that came running over to me. One of them shouted my name with amaze and excitement. “Cynthia!”, as she threw her arms around my waist. Suddenly I realized who this was. This was Emily! A dear friend’s daughter! She looks exactly like her, was the only thought that came to me as I smiled at her and said “Emily, dear.” She has 3 girls with her, all close in age it seemed. “Girls, what are you doing here?”
“Playing” Emily told me.
I smiled at them, “So, what would you girls like to do?” I remember asking them. They shrugged in response to me, so I stopped for a second. Literally.
“Would you girls like to make pictures for Jesus?”
“YES!” all 4 of the squealed with excitement as they took my hands and we rushed to the picnic table. There I found a LARGE pad of paper, that seemed to be about 26×30 (like my drawing pads on earth) and below were bins upon bins of coloring and painting supplies. Every medium you could think of. As I started to tear of pages for each person at the table, movement caught the corner of my eye. I turned to my right and saw a small shadow coming over. Suddenly the shadow came out of the fog and I saw Joshua!
“Mama!” Josh shouted as he came running over.
“Josh, honey!” I climbed out of the picnic table and embraced him in the biggest hug ever. “Do you want to draw pictures for Jesus with us?” I asked him and the 2 boys that were with him.
“We sure do!”
I remember ripping off pages for the boys too and that the table that would normally seat 8 adults, suddenly grew so that it would seat 12. It was amazing, but still pink. I was not blessed to be able to remember the pictures we drew.  I don’t remember the kids leaving, but I know that they took our pictures to Jesus for me.

Josh and I were sitting on the bench of the picnic table, with our backs to the table. He looks to be about 7 or 8 now. I was amazed at how much he had grown. He looked more and more like his daddy. We were laughing and making jokes when I my grandfather walked over to us. We were in the middle of a good laugh when he looked at me and then Josh, with a big smile on his face and said “Josh, your Nan and Pap are waiting for you.” Josh’s eyes got HUGE “I forgot!” he looked at me and quickly gave me a kiss on the cheek and a big hug. “Bye, Mama” and ran off. All I could do was chuckle and wave hollering to him as he left “Bye Josh!”

Grandpa sat down next to me, we sat on the table, with our feet on the bench. We talked about Jesus and God and how much they loved us. Grandpa told me how proud of me he was and he was so happy to see how strong I had become. I remember telling him how sometimes I felt weak, which is when he reminded me that all I needed to do was to call out to Christ and I would be given as much strength as I wanted. I smiled at him and told him how I loved to worship Christ and God. Grandpa said it’s normal to love to worship them, they did so much for us. I felt my heart begin to worship, so I climbed off the table and knelt in the grass, facing into a wall of fog and began to praise and worship Christ. Thanking Him for all He had done for me. For receiving me like he did and saving me from who I was. Holding me in His arms as I died to my old self and embraced who I truly was.
I felt a presence upon me, and when I opened my eyes I saw the sandaled feet of Jesus before me. So close that I didn’t have to reach out my hands to touch them and all I had to do was lean forward to the floor to kiss them. I was so honored that He was here.
“Child, why do weep?” He said to me, so softly.
“My Lord, I weep with love for you.” I told Him, as tears came down my face and I could not lift my head.
“Child, rise. Come.” He reached His right hand down to me as I looked up. He took my hand in His and helped me rise. My hand still in His we walked over to the picnic table. Sitting down on the bench I began to speak.
“Dearest, Jesus, I love you so much. Words can not express it.”
“Child, I know.” He responded, a small soft smile brimming on His face.
“I wish I could show you.” I told Him.
“Would you like to dance for me, child?”
My eyes lit up, “Yes! Please!” I told Him, so excited that I had the chance to dance for the King. To worship before Him.
I looked down and my jeans and t-shirt had turned into this amazing pale purple dress, that just flowed as I moved. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. One spin and my feet were moving. I twirled and dipped, twisted and kicked, arms moving as an extension of the dance. So fluid and beautiful. I spun softly and opened my eyes for a moment as I danced, there before me I saw an angelic choir and orchestra that was playing so that I could dance. The music was amazing! Nothing that I had ever heard before.
I dipped low and moved my arms out in an arc before me, as they scooped low and began to rise so did my body, three steps forward and they were full risen and I spun again and again. One foot in front of the other I spun and lowered my body, ending my dance and prostrating myself before the King. I heard a rumble in the sky and I felt the air become thick, but not in a bad way. I slowly lifted my head and I saw the clouds roll in and begin to part, as I saw this amazing chair on the clouds. It reminded me of an old fashion throne, from medieval times maybe, but it was on the clouds and there was amazing light coming off of it, as it came closer it got brighter. The sky went from blue to purple and the rumbling seemed closer but did not sound dangerous, it seemed like a cleansing roar. I dropped my head as the glory became too heavy to hold my head up against it any longer and I wept. As tears fell in the spiritual they fell in the natural and within seconds, I was asleep.

Posted in Faith, Josh, Visions | Leave a comment

It’s my Birthday, and I will rejoice if I want to!

Posted on October 25, 2011 by Cynthia

It’s my birthday, and I am so happy about this day! Not because of how old I am turning (29 for those curious minds) but because the Lord decided this was the day for ME! I love how God and Jesus teach us about faith through out the bible, but it is in activating that faith that we fall deeper into the Lord.

I am reminded of when Jesus was walking through a crowd of people and a woman touched the hem of his garment (Luke 8:45-48) 45 And Jesus said, “Who touched Me?”
When all denied it, Peter and those with him said, “Master, the multitudes throng and press You, and You say, ‘Who touched Me?’”
46 But Jesus said, “Somebody touched Me, for I perceived power going out from Me.” 47 Now when the woman saw that she was not hidden, she came trembling; and falling down before Him, she declared to Him in the presence of all the people the reason she had touched Him and how she was healed immediately.
48 And He said to her, “Daughter, be of good cheer; your faith has made you well. Go in peace.”

It’s amazing that it’s our faith that heals us… it’s belief in spite of disbelief that heals and brings joy. I’ve been told by many that I am strong a woman, or an amazing person, or that they don’t know how I do what I do. I have to be honest, it’s not me, it’s God in me! I don’t smile to hide pain, I smile because God has taken my pain. I don’t laugh to hide tears, I laugh because God has taken my tears and given me joy! My faith that God will bring me through all things is what brings me strength and peace. I can not say I have bad days, I have days that have more joy then others.

I had one person tell me I am the “New Age Pollyanna”. I laughed and said thanks, but truth be told none of what I do is me. I didn’t stop cursing because I wanted to, one day I woke up and it stopped. God had removed that part of my life. In fact, on many occasions God has asked me in the Spirit, “What will you give me?” and I always tell Him, anything. He has led me to fasting, (and not just of food,) to step outside my box and go to places or speak to people I wouldn’t normally do. It’s amazing what we can do with Christ at our side. The amazing strength we get when God becomes our Jehovah Nissi (The Lord My Banner) or when we let Him be our Jehovah Jireh (The Lord our Provider) or even when we let Him be our Jehovah Maccaddeshem (The Lord who sanctifies).

I rejoice this day, because I do not walk my path alone, but with the Kingdom of God in me. I rejoice this day, because the Lord has led me away from drugs and violence, away from abuse and sexual immorality, away from cursing and hatred – into a place where He is my Jehovah Shalom (The Lord my Peace) and my Jehovah Rohi (The Lord my Shepard).

In fact I am reminded of this scripture –

Psalm 23:1 – The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.

It’s amazing how in that one scripture, without realizing it, God has become two important values in life. The Shepherd ( Jehovah Rohi) and the provider (Jehovah Jireh). God plays such roles in so many of us today, and we don’t even realize it.

I pray this for all who are reading –

Holy Father, May you bring revelation to all those who read this. That they may feel your presence within them and around them. That they may feel you nearest to them and, in looking back, may they see your finger prints through out the painting of their life. Through out the molding of themselves. Holy Spirit, ask that you make yourself known to those reading. That they will feel the Joy of the Lord about them and that Shalom Peace may descend upon their lives. May choices be made clear, Oh God, and may their path be made straight.

Praise your Mighty Name, oh God! In Jesus Holy Name! Hallelujah and Amen!

God bless all of you!

Cynthia

God bless!

Posted in General | Leave a comment

Oh, how I remember…

Posted on October 22, 2011 by Cynthia

I remember when Josh was in the hospital and how I used to pray. I would cry out to God, “Father, if it is Your will, please heal my son.” Little did I know, because I had never read the bible, that it was His will, and I needed to claim it!

Matthew 17:14-20

17 Then Jesus answered and said, “O faithless and perverse generation, how long shall I be with you? How long shall I bear with you? Bring him here to Me.” 18 And Jesus rebuked the demon, and it came out of him; and the child was cured from that very hour.
19 Then the disciples came to Jesus privately and said, “Why could we not cast it out?”
20 So Jesus said to them, “Because of your unbelief;for assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you.

 

I realize that there is a point where you set down your feet and you become that stubborn child. You don’t move from where you are, you don’t eat or drink, you stop everything until you hear from God. Until you know that God truly listens, and it is amazing when you rend your heart in such a manner that you stop your life so God can become a priority.

Joel 2:12-13

  12 “ Now, therefore,” says the LORD,
      “ Turn to Me with all your heart,
      With fasting, with weeping, and with mourning.”
  13 So rend your heart, and not your garments;
      Return to the LORD your God,
      For He is gracious and merciful,
      Slow to anger, and of great kindness;
      And He relents from doing harm.

The Lord wants so much to reign in us and to be the meaning of our life. The best part though, is when we do that, we are met with amazing peace and comfort. When Joshua passed away, I felt lost for the first week or two. I just wandered aimlessly through the house, with no thought of what I should be doing. Then I made God leader of my life, my King and Ruler. Since doing that, I was met with peace and courage to go forth. I still pray for His boldness when He places it on my heart to speak with strangers, but I know that too will come. I have amazing faith in my Lord and I know He will take care of not only me, but those around me who do not believe as I do. Because I know the Lord answers prayers.

 

“Father I love you! I love your people! I love your ways! I love the works of your hands!” – from a song written (to the best of my knowledge) by Joe Smartz at Harvest Chapel, Abbottstown, PA.

Posted in General | Leave a comment

Update!!

Posted on September 25, 2011 by Cynthia

It’s been months since my last post. I’ve had the pleasure of participating in a School Of Kingdom Living Ministry class and to watch the Body of Christ move. Miracles and wonders have happened before my eyes and the Glory of God has appeared!

Visions and dreams along heavenly visitations. Healing and miracles with deliverance and much more!!!! God is amazing!

With that said, the idea of doing a podcast about being the Body of Christ is coming forward and will hopefully be starting within a few weeks. May God be with you and Bless you on you endeavors.

Posted in General | Leave a comment

God’s Yard Sale

Posted on June 24, 2011 by Cynthia

For starters, I just have to say how humbled I feel right now. The Lord is amazing!

My friend and I did a yard sale today… AMAZING!  The people that came and the stories that were shared, there is just sooo much! God is amazing!  At one point the rain poured for about 2 minutes and we laughed about it. Afterwards, when we had placed everything back out on the lawn, a gentleman showed up on a bright blue bike, it was old fashion in make and had 2 wire baskets over the rear tire. He carried nothing but himself and a water bottle and a walkie talkie on his belt. He caught a hat that was flying away from us and spoke briefly with my friend. I got the most amazing and sincere smile from him. He walked around the items and left on his bike. I looked up and watched as he began to turn his bike around, looked down the street and then back and he was GONE!!! I kid you not, he was not down the road or down the side road, just POOF!  There was just the most amazing thing about this man… just amazing!

Then, I was telling my friend about a different avenue with this jogging stroller I had for sale. When just then a mini van pulls up and 4 people get out to look at it and leave, then the next 5 people that came by were asking about it. The 3rd person actually bought the stroller. More importantly, the Lord lead me with this woman to tell her about our ministry AND invite her. I had this amazing feeling that her and her husband are just searching very heavily for God. She said they are going to church in Duncanon and they are both unemployed with a 15 or 18 week old baby. I helped her load the stroller in her car and I gave her a flier from our ministry. Praise the Lord!

There was another lady who was asking me about Daisy, my dog, and I began to talk to her about her dog. She was having issues with her dog biting and was worried about her kids. I told her that if she was worried about her kids safety with the dog then that was God placing that concern on her heart and that maybe the Lord is trying to tell her that there is a family out there that would really be blessed by your dog or that there is a blessing that will come from you giving him a new home. She looked at me and smiled, like she was amazed and happy to hear this.

I am just so humbled that the Lord has used us today to share the word of God with people and to plant seeds. There was an elderly man who came by after we had closed up shop and packed up that was asking about my friend ‘s books. He asked at first about the kids books but also about the adult books. There was a bible in the books that she gave him and you could just feel from him that he was searching. He was the most tender older man I had ever seen.

I played christian music the entire time on the laptop through external speakers, so it was loud enough for people who came by to hear. We stopped and prayed to God on multiple occasions and worshiped Him all day. It was amazing and soo fulfilling. My friend and I both agree that this yard sale was not about us, but about God. I just feel so many amazing things happened today because of God. When we thought we were going to close up, people would show up and we kept going, praising His name. God is just so amazing. We had planned this yard sale in under 24 hours. The Lord put it on our hearts to do this. God is just so amazing and so nurturing. He loves us so much and wants to take care of us. After we had brought it all in, I was just speechless at how much God loves us and how this was just a testament of Him to us. How He wants to take care of us and it was like He was saying He will take care of us, period. I just can’t praise His name enough.

HALLELUJAH, Praise God!

Posted in Faith, Holy Spirit | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

He is misconceived.

Posted on June 23, 2011 by Cynthia

Everyone sits there saying you have to obey the commandments, you have to not swear, you have to not… you have to not… you have to stop… and then, once you have done ALL that, God will love you… WRONG!

God loves everyone, period! He doesn’t care who you are, what you have done. He will forgive you of EVERYTHING and embrace you. You don’t have to be doing the right thing to be with God. Love him and know him more and the rest will follow. Your heart will tell you when you are at the point in your life to walk away from smoking, swearing… etc. Whatever your sin, The Lord will convict your heart when the time is right. Seek him and love him, that is all he asks.

Someone told me “It’s ok to be mad at God for taking your son, he understands”. Seriously?!?!  Why would I EVER be mad at God? He didn’t take my son from me. He may have received him into Heaven, but he did not take him. The enemy (satan, devil, etc) took him from this earth. The Father does not want parents to out live their children, he does not want suffering, cancer, pain, NOTHING! He wants to see us happy and healthy. He wants to see us enjoying His creation. I know that the enemy attacked my son, which is why he died. But I also know, the enemy did not win a soul that day. In fact, they lost many souls that day. Because God embraced me as he took in my son, saving me from the enemy.

I continue to call him God, The Father, Holy Father, but I have to tell you, he is so much my Daddy! I call out to him in prayer as Daddy and Papa. We talk all the time, I revere him but still call Him Daddy. He has a Father’s love, one hundred fold! He wants to embrace us in his arms and hold us close. We are ALL children of God, you are ALL my brother’s and sister’s. I count myself blessed to be chosen by Daddy for the mission he is set before me. I am so grateful for the path he has laid before me and the doors he has opened in my life.

Praise GOD!

Posted in Faith, General, Holy Spirit | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Moments with the Lord

Posted on June 2, 2011 by Cynthia

I have found myself spending more time in prayer then I used to. I find myself turning to the bible for comfort and seeking Him through scripture. I have learned to pray before I read the scriptures, so that I will have guidance and understanding as I am seeking His word. I take comfort in my Sunday Church attendance and in the Friday Night Ministry. I love my family in Christ and I have learned I can turn to those Brothers and Sisters for comfort, guidance and strength.

After the loss of my son, I thought I would be lost. I remember walking the halls of the hospital just so I didn’t have to think about anything, but one foot in front of the other. Now I think about the Lord and my son, frequently. I have found comfort in knowing he is safe with the Lord. I have also been able to realize, my son answered prayers… HE ANSWERED PRAYERS!!! We donated the his organs, his liver went to an 8 year old boy and his kidneys went to 2 different women. These 3 people were praying for a miracle and that came from the body of my son. My son gave people hope, and all I pray for is that they have found the Lord through their trials.

I was given the option to write to the recipients, but I don’t know if I can. It’s a struggle for me. I guess it’s more that I am just not at that point and don’t know if I ever will be. Right now my focus is on my walk with the Lord and what He wants of me. I know I need to be free to do His will when He wants me to. I can’t be tied down, and I am so thankful to God that he will provide for us so that I can be free to Him. Knowing that I am choosing to not go find a job, so that I can be open to His will, worried me at first. But after prayer and prompting by the Holy Spirit I learned, that this is what the Lord is asking of me and I WILL answer!!! I know he will provide for me and my family. That we will be taken care of and that He is watching over us.

All praise be to God! He who was, and is and is yet to come!!

Posted in Faith, General, Josh | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment