So, I am sure by the post you are wondering what I am talking about. We all handle traumatic events differently. Some will look inward, some will look outward and others will look toward heaven. All of this will send us looking for help, the kind of help that encourages us to move forward and not stay stagnant. The kind of help that helps us process the encounter and not let it hold us back from what the future may hold.
I bring this subject up, because of what I am currently dealing with. I will be honest, I am coping with trauma. I had an encounter with a small dog, and was bitten roughly 6 or 7 times. Because of it, I am looking inward on how I could have prevented it from happening and also toward heaven to see that I learn what I need to out of this.
The dog that bit me I was trying to help, as he had escaped his collar and was heading toward the front door of a store and toward traffic. As he had closed the distance to the door by half, his mom had not made any luck in getting his attention and he was set n leaving (with or without her). So I sped up and grabbed him at the waist. Now most dogs would panic, they would not normally become the fearful aggressive animal he became.
As he continued to bite and recoil and bite again, he also pooped, peed and released his anal glands, all over my shirt. As I scruffed him and lowered him to the ground he took a heavy bite on my finger, which had me react by grabbing his mouth and clamping it closed. The parent was there, telling the dog it was ok, but not trying to stop him from putting those sharp teeth to work on my flesh. Ultimately she was enabling his behavior.
So, my adrenaline through the roof, my boss began to clean my wounds and I left for the day. I spent the evening reviewing the event in my mind. Could I have done something differently?
As I revisited the event, I heard the Lord speak to me about it. “This is how my children act.” I heard Him speak so clearly, but in a timeless way, that it was all there before I could realize it. “When I am saving them from death and danger, they turn on me and attack. Thinking I am trying to restrain them and stop them from having fun, when really I am trying to help them see who they really are, how amazing they really are.”
To think about the pain in my hands, how they hurt and ache. How the swelling has limited my movement and how I prayed that I would not become fearful from the trauma but just more aware. I realized that Jesus hands were pierced for us, because we kept turning on God. Yet, with the pierced and bleeding hands, He still reaches for us. Helping turn us and direct us. Not once is He flinching from us, in the chance that we might turn and bite. He is trusting that we will turn and love Him.
I know, that with my calling I have much to learn and glean. But I also know that when God has me endure something, there is a greater reason. Just as Hosea had to marry a prostitute so that He could know how God felt. I know I endured this pain, so that I could truly understand what the Church has done to her bridegroom. Like a crazed dog, stubborn and set in its ways, we are turning and biting back from the direction and safety that God is offering. Instead of turning with love into the arms of safety we are snarling and gnashing our teeth, biting the hands that are offering us safety.